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Home News How to Talk to Your Kids About: Violence

How to Talk to Your Kids About: Violence

Published: Wednesday, January 9, 2008

 

Violence is in the media, in our neighborhoods and even in our schools. This can make our children feel frightened, unsafe and insecure. Kids are hearing about and often must cope with tough issues such as violence at increasingly earlier ages. Parents have an opportunity to talk with their children about these issues first. Parents want to instill the values and beliefs they have on their children before someone else talks to their child. It is important that you talk with your kids openly and honestly. Provide straightforward answers. If you don't know the answer, admit it—then find the correct information and explore it together.

Monitor the Media Over the years, many experts have concluded that viewing a lot of violence in the media can be risky for children. Studies have shown that watching too much violence—whether on TV, in the movies or in video games—can increase the chance that children will be desensitized to violence or even act more aggressively themselves. Pay special attention to the kinds of media your children play with or watch. Parental advisories for music, movies, TV, video and computer games can help you choose age-appropriate media for your children. Try watching TV or playing video games with your children and talk with them about the things you see together.
Reduce Exposure Parents and other caring adults can help reduce the effects of these violent messages by implementing the following suggestions.

• Actively supervise your child's exposure to all forms of media violence.
• Limit TV viewing to those programs you feel are appropriate.
• Be selective about which movies your child sees and which video and computer games he plays.
• Establish rules about the Internet by going online together to choose sites that are appropriate and fun for your child.
• Consider using monitoring tools for TV and the Internet such as the v-chip, a technology that allows parents to block TV programs they consider inappropriate.
• Take advantage of the ratings system that provides parents with information about the content of a TV program or movie.

Set Limits Set limits regarding children's actions towards others. Let your child know that teasing can become bullying and roughhousing can get out of control. If you see your child strike another, impose a "time out" in order for him to calm down and then ask him to explain why he hit the child. Tell him firmly that hitting is not allowed and help him figure out a peaceful way to settle the problem.

Convey Strict Rules About Weapons Teach your child that real guns and knives are very dangerous and can hurt and kill people. You might say, "I know in the cartoons you watch and the video and computer games you play, the characters are always shooting each other. They never get hurt; they just pop up again later like nothing ever happened. But in real life, someone who gets shot will be seriously hurt; sometimes they even die."

Talk About Gangs and Cliques Gangs and cliques often are a result of young people looking for support and belonging. However, they can become dangerous when acceptance depends on negative or antisocial behavior. If you believe your child might be exposed or attracted to a gang, talk about it together. Look for an opportunity. For example, say you see an ad for a movie that makes gang life seem glamorous and you say, "You know, sometimes it seems like joining a gang might be cool. But it's not. Kids in gangs get hurt. Some even get killed because they try to solve their problems through violence. Really smart kids choose friends who are fun to be with and won't put them in any danger."

Pay Particular Attention to Boys Most boys love action. But action need not become violence. Parents must distinguish between the two and help their boys do so as well. Allow them safe and healthy outlets for their natural energy. Recognize that talking—especially about violence—is different for boys than for girls. Boys may feel ashamed to express their real feelings about violence.

What do I do if I see someone bring a gun to school? If you ever see a gun anywhere, never touch it. It is important that you tell an adult such as your teacher or parent, right away. That way, you'll stay safe and help make sure no one else gets hurt.

Speaking with your children about violence not only helps them cope with things they hear or watch, but also could help keep them safe.

 

Click here for more information about talking to your kids about difficult subjects.


References
www.talkingwithkids.org