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Siblings and the New Baby
Published: Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The birth of a new baby is always an exciting and special time for the family. However, this time can be filled with mixed emotions for the siblings of this new addition. Many children may question whether they are still loved as a much as before the new baby arrived. They can become jealous of the time and attention this cute little baby is receiving from mommy and daddy.
There are several ways in which children react to these confusing feelings. Although jealousy cannot be completely avoided, there are many ways to help siblings adjust to their new roles as big brother/big sister.
Always give lots of hugs and pay attention to your older children to reassure them that they are loved.
- Asking for bottles or pacifiers
- Toileting issues – regressing after being toilet trained
- Acting out or clinging to mommy to get extra attention
- Saying he would like the baby to go back to the hospital
- Avoiding the baby
- Hitting or biting
- Older children may cuddle the baby too hard or try to hurt the baby
- Blaming the baby for accidents
- If you are moving the sibling out of the crib, do this several weeks or months before the baby is born. Explain that he is moving into a bed because he is a big boy not because the new baby needs the crib.
- Read books about being a big brother/big sister.
- Allow the sibling to come to prenatal visits when possible.
- Let him help pick out baby clothes and toys.
- Explain how to be gentle and kind when handling a new baby.
- If possible, take your child to someone’s house that has a baby, so he can see what a new baby looks and sounds like.
- Have the child do a craft or buy a present for the baby.
- Let him help you pack your bag for the hospital, including the baby’s things.
- When the child comes to meet the new baby at the hospital, try to have the baby in the bassinette not in mommy or daddy’s arms.
- Have a present to give to the older child from the new baby.
- Emphasize their important new role as a big brother/big sister.
- Allow the child to help care for the baby by diapering, feeding and dressing.
- Set aside time to spend with just the older child. Ask the grandparents to do this as well.
A new baby is big adjustment for the whole family. Siblings take on a new role of big brother/big sister, and most will not know exactly what that means or what is expected of them. If you keep the kids involved with the baby, ask them to help and teach them what an important role they play in the baby’s life, then your kids will have an easier time adjusting to the new changes and embracing the new family member as much as you do.
Visit the Center for Women & Children's Health for more information.